If you are like me, making goals and starting projects in the height of excitement is easy.
Yet, of course, sometimes those goals or projects fail.
If that happens too often it can sap our energy. What is the point in creating a goal if you are not going to achieve it?
I came here for spiders…
Ok, ok.. let’s talk about spiders.
A typical 8 legged arthropod spends a lot of it’s time building cobwebs.
Every now and again, a big storm comes and takes that sticky little trap away.
Or.. one of us walks straight through the middle of it, spitting and cursing as we go.
We don’t think twice about destroying this masterpiece.. and the key to this conundrum is that neither does the spider.
He checks the coast is clear, picks up his tools and goes about creating a brand new one.
When we start a goal or a project, we don’t know what might happen. We can’t predict the future.
If a change in the market makes your exciting new software project redundant, can you let it go?
If you dive into that pizza instead of the gym, can you start again with the same enthusiasm in the morning?
This topic is something I have been working on recently. Too many missed or delayed goals can have an impact.
It is my intention now to let them go, and start again with the same energy and excitement as before.
But.. there are a few things we should watch out for.
Don’t Repeat Past Mistakes
What is that saying about insanity… doing the same thing more than once and expecting a different result?
The spider won’t build it’s web across a doorway twice.. and neither should you.
Take a look into your goals and projects before you start them again.
Enjoy the process
I have never (to my knowledge) been a spider, but I suspect it gets some kind of spidery satisfaction from creating that cobweb.
Can you also enjoy the process of your goals and projects, without being too fixed on the result?
Accept Your Fate
The latin phrase “Amor Fati” sums this one up nicely. It is the idea that we can love (or at least accept) our fate, no matter what happens.
Instead of regretting the failure, can you accept it as a necessary lesson? Can you find the positives and focus on them?
Watch Your Energy
If you find yourself low on motivation for your next goal, or you feel like just accepting what you have now “because I will never get XYZ”..
.. then you might still be holding on to something negative.
If that was me, I would write down how I feel about the goal, analyse what went wrong, write what I would do different and forgive myself for any mistakes.
After that, I will make a better plan for how I want to achieve that goal or project.
As with most problems I come across, the answer lies in how we perceive it inside ourselves.
It doesn’t matter what other people think of our failure to stick to that diet, to meditate every day this week, to launch our latest product in Q1..
.. because it is our ultimately choice whether this becomes a burden to bear or a step forward, nobody else’s.
Can you turn that failure into a brand new, bigger, better, faster cobweb?